Mutant Zen Garden

It’s time for an installment of Hand Over Your House, the game where Amy Daniel and I confiscate the unkept, uncared for and unloved homes of San Luis Obispo and turn them over to suitable homeowners with a knack for house keeping. 

• Address:  1343 Marsh Street, San Luis Obispo
• Offenses:  Messy yard, bad landscaping, Indoor furniture on the outside, Too many cars
• Current occupants:  Several male students
• Suggested occupants:  A family with a wheelbarrow and masonry experience
• Commentary:

Amy:  So, what’s going on with the rocks?

Chris:  It looks like someone with A.D.D. tried to make a rock garden . . . last summer. 

Amy:  Maybe they’re going to do some  rock stacking and they just want to be well stocked.  Rock stacking is very hot right now.

Chris:  So it’s possible that these are artists, and this yard is an unfinished canvas

Amy:  Probably not.   You know, we can make a sign that reads, “Free rocks, one per customer, please.”  They’d be gone in no time. 

Chris:  Really?  You think there is a big market for paper weights?

Amy:  No, but they have to pay for their pot somehow, right? 

Chris:  So this isn’t so much an ugly yard as much as it is untapped entrepenurial potential?

Amy:  I liked the idea of slowly slipping them into the Chinese Pond down the street, but the thought of sneaking a rock everyday made me nervous.  The last thing I need is some frat-boy yelling at me for touching his rented landscaping. 

Chris:  I’ve been trying the same thing, but I think the City has been removing my contributions to the pond.  Fools.